New Goals

I have come to a somewhat difficult decision... I'm going to stop actively TTC until I get under 200lbs (at 223 right now). I don't know how long this will take, but I am on day 2 of low-carb today. It's time to get serious. DH is still going to the urologist (he will be doing his 3rd SA on Thursday) so we can see what we are up against when we come back to it.
I just feel that if we will likely be doing IUI or IVF, I need to get myself in better shape so we aren't throwing money down the drain because my weight is hindering positive results. I also want people to be able to TELL that I am pregnant when it finally happens instead of the awkward "is that fat or a baby" situation...lmao.
Maybe this decision will finally motivate me to stick with my goals. I'm honestly even doubting if I really truly want a CHILD, not just a baby. Babies turn into children and children honestly annoy the living hell out of me. I guess it's just one of those things where it is different when it's your own child, but I have this fear that I will regret all the money/effort etc in the end and wish I could take it all back (OK, I know I wouldn't really feel that way once I have a kid, it's just legitimate fears I have because this whole process is a huge, serious deal!)