I hate 3-day weekends... they are always nice because I get extra time with the hubby, but after awhile he starts to get on my nerves, since we are trapped in the house with nothing to do. We went bowling with some friends and have watched a couple movies together at home, that was nice. I just get tired of cleaning up after him sometimes.
Well, I did start selling AVON officially on Friday...I'm scared shitless because I do NOT have an outgoing personality and I haven't sold ANYTHING yet, despite my best efforts. Gonna give it my all over the next 3 days because that is all I have left until my first order is due. Hey, at least it takes my mind off of babies. I will say the random outbursts of tears has been decreased since Friday due to the new stress of figuring out this AVON crap. AND to top it all off, on top of not selling anything to anyone, me and my freakin online shopping habit (that has become more of a serious problem as of late) have found TONS of stuff I want to buy from my own fucking AVON catalog. Now what good does that do me, I mean COME ON! "Uh, yes I met my $50 campaign quota..." doesn't mean I have to tell them I bought all that crap for myself.
Well anyways, once it gets going it should get better. I don't think it will help me with earning/saving money for IVF though, at least not for awhile and with some kind of miracle. Maybe it's time to bite the bullet and try to find a job in this hell-hole again, but really, I'm not sure who would hire me for only a few months.
I took a HPT for the hell of it today...not that it matters 'cuz I didn't ovulate and I'm pretty damn sure a handful of sperm can't do anything on their own, let alone without an egg to do anything with. But that's just me, holding on to false hope.
The diet is going ok. I let myself eat badly Fri/Sat (guess what I ate?? Yup, PIZZA...yuuummmm!)and I jumped right back on the bandwagon this morning with no problems. I only had 50g carbs today all total, plus DH and I walked for an hour today and ran for 30 min yesterday. Hopefully it will all balance out.
I STILL haven't been able to get back on a normal sleep schedule. This not being able to sleep til 3am and then sleeping half the day thing is getting old, I feel like a useless bum. I don't like night time...it's too quiet and dark and I have way too much time to think about babies and my failures in life.
That was my pity party for the week...hopefully I'll get some good sleep tonight and tomorrow will look a little brighter.
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