I think I might be O'ing for real! I got 3-4 + wondfo OPKs on the 31st/1st and todayi have been having a lot of cramping/shooting pain in my R ovary. The only difficulty is that I took 2 other brands with the same urine and they were close, but negative. Maybe wondfos are more sensitive? Who knows...I can't find their information anywhere.
I guess we will BD again tonight and hope my temp shoots up tomorrow. Blah.
So I had my classic monthly meltdown last night. When we were at my in-laws house last week, DH and I went through all of his old things and old stuffed animals and baby albums were among them. Well I washed the stuffed animals and took them upstairs to add to the bin of my old baby stuff (handmade clothes, dresses etc) and I just lost it. I just feel like I'm stupid for holding onto all of this stuff...feels like I'm giving myself false hope and I keep telling myself "oh you stupid stupid girl...you think you will actually have a baby? That's just insane." All my friends with kids probably feel like I'm a desperate psycho too...after all I watch their kids for free just so I can be around kids/babies for a little while. I ask my friends lots of baby/parenting questions too, but I feel like they probably wonder why I bother, since ill never have any with my fat, broken body.
Ebay has become my new frenemy... I may have bought a bulk of baby boy 0-3 month clothes for $15... they were just SO cute and I use the excuse that I should stock up on cheap deals like this now so the expense is less later, and if I never get pregnant I can just donate everything to someone who needs them. Until then I will continue to, as I told DH yesterday: "add to my shrine for our child that we don't and probably never will have." I got a sewing machine for christmas, so I'm sure you can imagine what awful, torturous things I will do to myself with that.
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